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Cleaning The Windshield

Category: Life

Published on Wednesday, 01 September 2010 05:00

Written by Paul Roy

Things have been pretty quiet lately behind the dirty windshield, I haven’t been spending a whole lot of time driving. So today I think I’ll just jot down some random thoughts.

As you may or may not know, at least for now, I drive a tow truck for a living. Can anyone out there tell me what the attraction is of putting your car in neutral? Is there some inner satisfaction in doing this that I have yet to figure out? Is this some special rite of passage? It just seems the first thing people want to do when I arrive at their cars is to put it in neutral. Most time it isn’t a problem, but if you are on a hill and you do this…well I’ll leave it to your imagination as to what can happen.

This is an open question to the ladies out there: What is your obsession with men leaving the toilet seat up? Do we complain when you leave it down? If you tell me, like the love of my life does, that it is because when you have to go in the middle of the night you can’t see if it is down and sit, well that really isn’t a good excuse. Perhaps you should reach out, as we do and check?

And along the same lines, I have known people who insist that the roll of toilet paper must be put on the roll in a certain way. Some say it has to unwind from the top, some say it has to unwind from the bottom. Why? What difference does it make?

I used to do a lot of bicycle riding. I noticed then and I notice now while I am driving that no matter how fast or slow two cars driving in opposite directions are going, they will always meet when they are aside the bicycle.

When I was kid I always figured my father didn’t know anything. But through the years as he grew older, he was much smarter. I have never been quite able to figure that out.

For those of you who may be a little older, do you remember the day when you said “My God, I’ve turned into my parents?” For me it was when I looked out at the overly long grass and headed out to cut it then remembered I had a son who could cut it for me. Just like my Dad did to me. Of course my son was four at the time which didn’t go over to well with his mother, but then look at how well he turned out with only eight toes.

I remember an uncle of mine saying to me once “A little hard work never killed anybody.” To this day, I have never wanted to be the one who proved him wrong.

I live in New England and this summer it has been rather hot and humid. In fact probably one of the worst I can remember, of course it doesn’t help when the air conditioner in the truck doesn;’t work. Put all that aside for a minute and let me ask you something, especially for any of you in Arizona. Why do you insist that when it is 105 in the shade in Arizona it isn’t hot because it is a dry heat? One hundred and five is hot whether it’s dry or not. Just like when it is 90 here it’s hot whether it is dry or not. So if it’s forty below and it’s snowing does that mean it isn’t as cold? “Well it’s forty below and i don’t give a .**** Got a heater in my truck and I’m off to the rodeo.”

All right, I suppose the windshield is clean enough for now. Time to go out and dirty it up again.